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Parent Testimonials Video

Enabling An Addict

As a family member, friend, colleague, or acquaintance of an individual who is an addict, the worst thing that can be done is enabling an addict. By doing so, you are telling that individual that their behavior is ok, the drug addiction is ok, and that they are not hurting themselves, or their family and friends. So, if you are a family member or a close friend of an addict, learning the best methods to stop enabling an addict is something that has to be done. By learning the things which will help them, rather than continually praising them for being an addict, you are not only going to be helping the individual, but you are also going to find that over time the family can go back to a normal life, the friends can start coming around again, and the addict is going to realize that their behavior is not ok, and that they are hurting those they love around them, and pushing people who are trying to help them away, by continuing on with their addictive behaviors. So, if you are close to someone who is an addict, considering these steps to stop enabling an addict is something one should consider.

Learn about their addiction -
If you want to stop enabling an addict, you have to learn about the addiction, why they are addicted, and why it is so hard for them to quit. Learning as much as possible about the addiction, and taking the time to help find solutions for the family member or friend, is the first way for you to stop enabling an addict. You can try to find various support groups, addiction facilities and clinics, inpatient centers, or any other number of valuable resources that are out there, to help the individual quit, and to help them get back to a normal life. The more you know about the condition, the easier it is going to be for you to stop enabling an addict, and to get them the help and guidance they need instead, so that they can get past the addiction, and get back to a drug free, healthy life.

Let the addict see the error of their ways -
If you want to stop enabling an addict, allowing them to realize the consequences of their actions, and seeing the harm they are doing, might really put a toll on them. If they are ruining a family, or hurting their family and loved ones, or if they see how much damage they are doing to their body and health, they might start to learn how bad the addiction really is. Also, if you are a parent, if you cut off food supplies, paying their bills (cell phone, car, insurance, groceries, etc), and allowing the addict to see what the consequences are (not only that you will cut them off, but also the health consequences, as well as the potential jail time if they get caught), these are some of the best things that can be done to stop enabling an addict. Although it might seem harsh for a parent to cut their child off, sometimes this might be the only solution, especially when nothing else that they have tried has worked in the past. So, allowing them to see the errors of their ways, who they are hurting, and what the consequences will be if they continue down the path of addiction, might be the only way to knock some sense in to an addict who is otherwise not willing to listen to those who are trying to help them get past their addiction.

Do not take the blame -
One of the best ways to stop enabling an addict, whether you are a family member or friend, is to stop taking the blame. You may blame yourself, whether there are money issues, familial issues, changes in accommodations, continually moving, or any other reasons that you feel you are to blame for your child's addiction, by knowing that you are not the one to blame, and that you are not the cause of their addiction, you will help them take responsibility, and try to get the help they need for the addiction. If you want to stop enabling an addict, you have to make them realize they are the person who is responsible for the addiction, and that even though you might not be the perfect parent that you are not the person to blame. If you continually blame yourself, and if you allow your child who is an addict to blame you, you are going to continue enabling an addict, rather than stopping to enable them, and get them the help they need. Although some children or addicts are never going to take the blame, and will always put it on someone else, as a parent, if you take that blame, rather than allow them to realize they are really the ones to blame for their own behavior, you are going to continue enabling an addict, and they are never going to get the help and guidance that they need, in order to get past the addiction.

There are several things parents, friends, counselors, and other help groups can do to stop enabling an addict. But, it starts with the family, and those who are closest to the addict. If you continue enabling an addict, they are never going to take responsibility for their actions, and they are going to continue along the path of addiction. If, however, you choose to make them realize they are the ones to blame, if you stop giving them financial support to continue with their addiction, and if you learn about their addiction, and help them find the help they need, then you will stop the enabling, and help the addict get their life back. So, whether you are a friend, family, close relative, or anyone else who cares, in order to help someone get over an addiction, the first thing that has to be done is for you to stop enabling an addict, and make them realize their own erroneous ways.