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Parent Testimonials
Dear Parents and Families of Addicts,
I am writing to inform you of how my son's drug addiction almost destroyed our family. About five years ago our son, who was about 15-16 years old, started changing. Along with the regular teenage rebellion it was much more than that. He had lost respect for himself and others. Could care less about anything; grades, family, law. He was belligerent, angry, all of the signs and then some. I am not naive about drugs. I grew up with a drug addict and saw the pain and hurt that it caused and swore that I would never have to go through that again. We helped him in any way that we could to try to get him back on track but it just got worse and soon he started using much stronger drugs.
Our son became a heroin addict about 3 years ago. I never dreamed that he would even try it because he knew of my brother and how much it hurt me to lose him and all of the horrible stories of growing up with a drug addict. I also thought my son would never try heroin because he lost his cousin to heroin. Right after that he started using heroin. Every day it got worse. He was very moody, angry, and mean, had no accountability and could care less who he hurt or what he did.
Our son was a monster.
It broke our hearts to see what was once a beautiful, intelligent caring young man turn into a demon. He lied, stole, had no regard for life. His body was looking ragged. At one poin t I looked at him and saw the grim reaper. He was pale, skinny, dark circles under his eyes, in fact when I would look into his eyes, they were hollow. The drug had stolen my son and his spirit. Living with him was hell.
I still had 2 other children at home. His older sister and a younger sister. I was working double time to try to save him and protect my daughters. The oldest was scared for him but also was getting very resentful that he was such a mess. At a certain point she disowned him and started to hate him because he was destroying our family. She started to resent us because we continued to forgive and do whatever to save him. I felt guilty for my other children as everything I had I was putting into our son to save him. Our youngest daughter was scared to death and really couldn't understand why her brother was so mean and hateful and why he wouldn't stop doing the drugs that were destroying all of our lives. She would cry and ask me if he was going to die. After a time I finally said to her that it was very possible that he would if he didn't stop the drugs.
Our son's drug addiction became all of our drug addiction and we were not the user.
We went to all extremes to stop him. All of us tried. Everyone said he had to hit bottom. Where is that? Death? One of the hardest things we tried was to turn or backs and tell him that unless he did something to stop he was no longer accepted in our fa mily and we wanted no part of him or his ways. We could not handle any more. We were on the verge of losing everything we had. Our home, jobs, what was left of our family.
This was the hardest thing for a parent to do.
We put him on the streets.
As parents we had to make a decision, whether to save the rest of our family and life or continue to save just one that was a losing battle. His drug addiction was devastating. It strained our marriage, finances, relationships with our other children and family members, and our own self respect. I didn't hear from him in six weeks. I am a pretty strong person, but I will say that I was real close to a nervous breakdown by this time. One day I had a real uneasy feeling and decided I couldn't take any more of not knowing if my son was ok so when my husband came home from work I told him that something was not right and we had to check on our son. We disagreed for a while as he thought I was giving in but I felt really uneasy. We went to where my son was staying and when he answered the door, he looked like death warmed over. He was very defensive and mean as to why we were there. I told him that I was uneasy and needed to see that he was ok. We left and my feelings were correct. The very next day I found out that he had overdosed and was rushed to the hospital and when we showed up he had just gotten home. It was at that point that I said, ok round202 and we are going to beat this. We moved him back home. Again it didn't take long for the drug addiction to take control over all of our lives. We are living in a nightmare, but by now our son had finally said that he was tired of this and wanted to stop. He put himself into a 30 day rehab.
We didn't believe that he was sincere because of all of the attempts that he made to try to clean himself up. The drug kept winning. He would relapse days after he would go through a rehab program or seek help and every time he would relapse it got worse. He would use more, and the drug demon was taking total control of our son. He was stealing, lying, you name it. Oh lord what had we done to deserve this... It was so scary that I would constantly fear that I would walk in and find him dead, or that one of my daughters would find him. He did spend some time in jail and I was hoping that that would bring him around. NO the drug was still the champ. He tried several times to detox himself. There were times we had to rush him to the hospital because he was so sick from detoxing that we thought he was going to die. We thought certainly that all that he was going through he would never touch that stuff again. NO the drug was still the champ. He was a prisoner and he would never see a normal life again; that is if the drug didn't take his life. I know that he wanted to stop but just couldn't at this point.
We heard about Sunshine Summit Lodge from a friend. Her son was also a heroin addict and was going through Sunshine Summit Lodge. He was doing awesome, our son begged us to help him to get him into the program, however we were so devastated by the past 1 1/2 years of his drug addiction, that we really didn't have an idea of how we could do this. I contacted Justin with Sunshine Summit Lodge and talked with him. Not only did we have financial problems but now there were also Law issues and our son was not able to leave the state. We were in between a rock and a hard spot. At this point if our son did not get help, we were going to lose him to either prison or death and the way things were going it was probably going to be death. I can't tell you how much Justin helped us. Justin worked with me all the way. He gave me his cell phone and said I could call him anytime I needed. And I did. Our son was heavy into the drug and things hadn't changed. I would call Justin and he would calm me and help me through what ever situation our son was in. Justin was my savior, he kept me together while we were working on getting our son into the program. He jumped through hoops both legally and personally to help me, my son, and my family. He told me I could call him 24/7 and I did. He walked me through some dark moments.
Finally the day came that we were able to bring our son to Sunshine Summit Lodge. Justin told me that I would feel a ton of bricks lifted off my chest once we get him there. It was emotional bringing our son, but it was a huge relief because I knew if he stood any kind of chance of survival at this time it would be here. This was somewhat that last rodeo. I knew that our son's life was coming down to the fact of prison or death, either of which I knew he did not want either. Our son was ecstatic to finally get to Sunshine Summit Lodge. He went through the program. When I would talk to him I could hear the life coming back into him. I could hear my son coming back. He spoke clearly, sounded healthy, talked intelligently, but most of all, he had a heart again, spoke of family and love, accountability, respect, remorse, forgiveness, and wanting to live and enjoy life..... OMG!!! I had to do a double take and asked him a couple of times to tell me that it was really him that I was talking to because I hadn't seen or heard my son for years.
One of the things that touched my heart was our son said to me, "I know that you gave me life once, but the greatest gift you could have given me was my life back again by letting me come to Sunshine Summit Lodge. Thank you."
Well, that took my legs right out from underneath me. My son wanted to live again and wants to live it clean and healthy. I want to say to you, Sunshine Summit Lodge - Thank you - for giving back to us our son, our family, our strength to recover from the devastation of a drug addiction.
Frances P.
Dear All,
I remember during the desperate nightmare of addiction that had become my son's life, reading the comforting and uplifting words of a parent whose child had found help at Rainbow Canyon Retreat, and daring to have hope. My son's path of addiction since the age of thirteen had taken us down many dark and desperate alleyways, (emergency rooms, jails, etc.), that I never imagined facing with my child.
Ben's situation had become life threatening, and seriously depleting to us all. His sister had found a new program that claimed to be different than the traditional 12-step programs he had struggled with. He had been to several detox, rehab and recovery programs with no lasting success. Instinctively I knew that none of these programs had addressed the core issues that were the genesis of Ben's addiction, and had been the continuation of some serious family history.
I had not seen Ben in quite a while because he would disappear when things got bad, either in shame or just out of compassion for the family. His sister had spoken to him on the phone and he agreed to go to Rainbow Canyon Retreat, but had passed out before he could tell us where he was. After I finally located him through friends, I had to break into the deck of the house where he was staying. It took me nearly 20 minutes to wake him. He was gaunt, grey and severely underweight. I took him directly to a hotel room close to the airport to keep him as close as possible, fearing he may change his mind and bolt. It was the longest most heinous night of my life. He was in an extreme state of addiction - shaking and violently hiccupping as he rambled on endlessly and without filters about his life on the streets and his personal hell. With the help of the Rainbow Canyon Retreat staff, by phone we managed to make it through that sleepless night and stick it out till morning.
I prayed silently to myself all night that Rainbow Canyon Retreat would be the answer and that he would no longer have to suffer this senseless, painful tragedy. We made one last stop on the way to the airport, and as he looked through his bag for something, a crack pipe fell to the ground. I sobbed silently as we went through the rest of the bag and drove on to the airport. There was another narrow escape when the Air Marshal was called to the ticket counter out of concern for Ben's condition. We could not afford to send someone with him and he courageously convinced the Marshal that he had to get on that flight and get to Rainbow Canyon Retreat or he would die. I believe that is exactly what would have happened.
Ben's continued courage and determination got him through the program. During his first trip back home, he walked me through all the stages of his hard work describing the difficult, yet cleansing confrontation that brought him back to himself. The work was intense and I am not sure I would have the courage to face the things he has faced.
Rainbow Canyon Retreat helped Ben to save himself.
My son celebrated his 26th birthday this year just days after his one-year anniversary of being alcohol and substance free. It is the first time in over a decade that I remember us actually celebrating his birthday - free of fear, apprehension and worry. He is in a functional and fulfilling relationship with a wonderful partner. There are no words to express the joy and gratitude I have for this opportunity to get to know my beautiful adult son, and how thankful I am that through his hard work, dedication and the gift of Rainbow Canyon Retreat, he is returned to us and to the fullness of life.
Thank you Rainbow Canyon Retreat!
Pam B.
To all Staff at Newport by the Sea,
In the summer of 2005 I finally digested the fact that my youngest son was using drugs. From that day forward--life has not been the same/normal. However, what is normal anyway? From my perspective, the child goes to school, graduates, perhaps goes off to college, and gets married and so on. If this pattern is disrupted, then normal goes away. I was always aware that normal is really not normal. But in my wildest dreams I never thought drugs would be involved so as to disrupt normal. Drugs are what happen with other parents children.
The first thing I lost was my temper. Then when that does not solve the problem, I dec ided to learn about the drugs and learn why my son is using them. I discovered that there are literally thousands of parents, up and down the social, educational and financial scale, all with the same family problem. What I then learned would astonish anyone. Imagine surgery without drugs! I would not even try to tell you the names of the drugs but I will testify to you that the drugs used are the most mind-altering--personality changing drugs on the face of the earth "so far".
I put him in the first drug rehab center, $18,000.00. All the classes he took, all the discussions, parent nights to listen, parent participation nights and finally parent /son night. The testimony from him to me was great. Three weeks after graduation, he is back on drugs. The second rehab center, $30,000.00 and 30 days in a beautiful facility where the students can ride horses, learn to communicate and hopefully discover why they use drugs. Again the testimony from my son to me was believable, because what he learned to say was what he knew I wanted to hear. A month after graduation my son was back on drugs worse than ever. I tried admitting him into the halfway drug houses. My son told me they were rude to him and too regimental. He said this would not work for him. Remember, he is now the professional salesman and I am ONLY the parent. I should listen to him. Therefore back to the rehab hospital, $18,000.00 and then one month later he is back on the drugs.
Somehow, this deal was not working for=2 0me. I had other children and plenty of grandkids that needed me as a father and as a grandfather. I was going in the tank and causing problems with my wife, children and grandchildren because this drug problem was on my mind both day and night.
I could not sleep anymore. My son lost his wife, home and sold every item of worth he had to get the smallest of drugs. He slept in the park with the other addicts. He got his head split open by a drug dealer. He lost 100 pounds, his teeth began to rot, his muscular physic was gone and quite frankly I truly believed that one night I would get the call saying he was dead. Due to the years of frustration and worries, I then needed help. Wow, now what?
Then there came a testimony to me from the wife of a friend. She had similar problems with drugs as my son. She had gone to Newport by the Sea. The program did work for her. She testified to me about how and why Newport by the Sea can help....very reasonable rates. She was now clean, living back in Salt Lake and working real hard to put her life back together again and to see her four children. Coincidently my son called his brother and begged him for one last chance. I believe there are normal times where the addict can rationalize their thoughts.
You see, the addict wants to be NORMAL, get off the drugs, but the drugs will not let them. Remember, the drugs dictate.
Each morning, all the .user. can think about, is how to get the drugs he or she will need to get through the day. I have learned all this over the years. Not from the owners of the rehab centers, but from the addict, my son and other addicts.
Once I made contact with Newport by the Sea and agreed to their program, they took control. They told me exactly what to do each and every step of the way. Talk about a relief, this set my mind at rest and finally I felt that there was a light at the end of the tunnel. All I had to do was get him on the plane. He was now their worry.
The SUCCESS STORY is of course my son. But, there are other recipients equally, myself and my family. NEWPORT BY THE SEA is the OPPORTUNITY of SUCCESS for those of us that fall victim to drugs. I truly pray that someday drugs will only be used for their intended purpose.
Roger A. S.
Dear Fort Collins New Life Center,
I have come to see that any family member with an addiction definitely has an impact on the entire family, pets included. Matthew was always a very outgoing, fun, thoughtful kid. I will never forget a vacation our family took to Cancun. Matt was still very young at the time, but he had no problem fitting in and talking to the college kids on spring break. Yet, when he was eight years old Matt, his father, and I were in a near-fatal car accident caused by a drunk driver. This accident put me in a coma for a month and left me handicapped to this day. I was later told that when the paramedics and ambulance personnel arrived at the scene they went to go help Matt in the back seat, with his leg bone sticking out of his skin, he replied "I.m okay, help my mommy." He knew I was unresponsive.
As a teenager, Matt became involved with drugs. The last year of my mother.s life is when we first became aware of his problem. My mom would call me everyday, a few times, and I would cut her short due to the fact that I would be upset about Matt and didn.t want my sick mother to know what was going on. I feel what should have been my most precious moments with my mother were stolen by Matt.s addiction.
Then when someone you trust and love starts stealing from you, it really breaks your heart. Matt stole from his father.s business, from his sister, and from me. When you have to start hiding stuff in your own house you really feel violated. Do you know what it is like to find stuff missing from your house? Items that had irreplaceable sentiment value were pawned away. The Italian gold jewelry given to the family by my parents, Christmas gifts Matt had received from the family, his four-wheeler, and the list goes on, all pawned. Some of the items were never recouped.
Not to mention all the sleepless nights wondering if he was dead or alive. We tried reasoning with him, tough love, crying, no matter what we said or did he would look at us with no expression on his face. It was like talking to a brick wall. As a last resort we tried kicking him out a few times. This caused friction between his father and I. To this day, I am surprised we did not get a divorce. Even at the worse points, I felt kicking him out was not the answer. His sister disagreed with our habit of kicking Matt out and only to take him back a few days later. He played up the divisions in our family. He always knew the right things to say. Towards the end, before he went to Fort Collins New Life Center, his sister let him stay at her house a few times. No one in the family knew what to do with him.
I cannot begin to tell you of all the nerve-wrecking nights Matt wouldn.t be home by curfew. We would call him. His response would be, "I.ll be home in 20 minutes." This cycle would go on all night until he finally showed up hours later. We would ask him questions, getting loud at times. Our poor dog would go upstairs into the bedrooms, frightened to death by the arguing, and scratch the doors or walls. Of course, each time she caused damage led to more arguing. Matt.s sister was so desperate she went online one night and found Fort Collins New Life Center. After reading about the program.s success and speaking with a graduate, she relayed the information to my husband and me.
Fort Collins New Life Center - thank you, thank you, thank you, for saving my son.s life. Fort Collins New Life Center wa s not the first rehab facility Matt has been to. He was in rehabs in Connecticut, twice in New York, and in Pennsylvania. Each time it seemed like he was doing well. Then he would return home and the problems would start all over again.
We are so grateful! We were not ready to give up on Matt! He is still my baby! If it wasn.t for Fort Collins New Life Center Matt wouldn.t be the outgoing, fun, thoughtful person he was meant to be. In fact, I wouldn.t be here writing this success story. Who knows where our family would be without Fort Collins New Life Center. Again, thank you so much. I am forever grateful.
Sincerely,
Lisa K.
DRUGS, DENIAL, ARREST, POLICE, LOCKUP, COURT, LAWYERS, JAIL, PROBATION - MONEY. My son is a drug addict. He has been arrested, been to court and inevitably spent time in jail. He has spent thousands and thousands of dollars on HIS problem. However, to him DRUGS won all the time. Our family was torn apart, arguing, yelling, crying, promises that he never kept. DRUGS won him over us. Kicking him out of the house did not change a thing in his eyes, he was engulfed with the Drug life, he was in too deep, and we lost him.
My son was at the end of his road. My son had no life. My son would have been dead within a few months, if not within a few days, if he continued on this path. My son did not believe this. My son convinced himself he was fine, that he was not a drug addict, that he was stable because he held his job. Then the phone call came: "Uncle" his boss, said he had lost him too and he let my son go. My son had no mind he was no longer my son. I love my son and I told him with a snap of a finger - if he did not straighten out his life - he was out of my life for good. Tough love? No, I was a mother who could not stand one more minute of watching her son kill himself.
HOPE - I believed I was at the end of my road with my son and that he was at the end of his life. I had placed a few calls and talked to a Sunshine Summit Lodge Intake Counselor named Micki, an amazing young lady that seemed to know my son without even meeting him. She knew what my family and I were going through because of my son. She also knew what my son was going through. She talked to me for an hour - told me not to worry - there was HOPE - there was a chance - there was a future for my son.
The greatest thing that happened was that THEY (Sunshine Summit Lodge) would handle it. THEY would talk directly with my son. THEY would convince my son to come. My son could go on his own, making up his own mind that this would be the best. My son on his own left on Sunday, for Sunshine Summit Lodge.
Within a few weeks after arriving at Sunshine Summit Lodge, my son's voice changed, the light started to shine, the knowledge of what HE had done and the pain and consequences he caused became a reality to him. A few weeks after that, the edginess, brought on by drugs, evaporated. The hyper-ness started to calm. A son that I had not seen or heard from in years was coming home. Not physically but mentally and emotionally. Months proved to restore a tranquility that I do not believe my SON had seen or felt in himself for years.
My son became proud of himself. My SON became a MAN.
This is what Sunshine Summit Lodge has done for my SON. They have made my son human again. They made it possible for him to get his life back.
Thank you Sunshine Summit Lodge,
Sheila B.
When Stephen was born, I never knew I could love someone so much. Through the years he grew into a wonderful young man and gave me so much joy. Somehow, someway, this gift from God turned into a liar, thief and drug abuser. I never felt so lost. After many run-ins with the law and never knowing when the phone would ring with news that he was hurt, in jail or God forbid, dead.
I turned to Sunshine Summit Lodge. After bailing Stephen out of jail, I dropped him off at the airport, telling him someone would pick him up when he landed. I was so scared but I knew he had to stop tearing our family apart. The admission process was very easy and I received great support and advice from Tonya. She held my hand (long distance) through the entire process. Once he arrived, the Sunshine Summit Lodge staff was in constant contact with me and they gave me weekly updates. They put me at ease and I slept for the first time in 2 1/2 years. My husband and I went to Stephen's graduation and we all were amazed at the change in him. His physical appearance was amazing! He was no longer a walking skeleton. The biggest change was that I had my loving son back. You could see in his eyes that he was happy and at peace with himself.
After we returned home, Stephen was easygoing, respectful and a joy to have as a member of our family again. I knew there was a true change when I overheard my daughter and some of her friends say he's actually nice.
Thank you Sunshine Summit Lodge.
I sent you a monster and you gave me back my loving son.
Sincerely, Barbara S.
To whom it may concern,
Living with an addict-
My family had been dealing with my brother's drug addiction for over five years but the last 2 1/2 to 3 were the worst. He had become addicted to heroin and the drug was all he cared about. He did not care who he hurt or what he did to get the drug. Jonathan had become a very self-centered, inconsiderate, hostile person. His actions did not only affect him but they affected my entire family. He fought with my parents to the point where we were afraid my dad was going to have a heart attack. He stole from them and put them into financial hardship that they are still dealing with. He stole tools from my dad and irreplaceable jewelry from my mom just to feed his addiction. My younger sister had to lose some of her innocence in dealing with my brother's drug addiction. She had an unexplainable bond with my brother and would continue to forgive time and time again even when he would steal from her or yell at her or just be terrible to her. She had to learn at a very young age what drugs were and what the consequences were from drug use.
Jonathan's drug addiction had become our lives. It had consumed our lives. Every day we would wake up wondering if today was going to be the day that it happened; the day that we found his body there lifeless because it could not handle the drug abuse anymore. Was today the day we were going to get that call from the hospital or the police station? Was it going to be the day that we knew would eventually come but could not prepare ourselves for it? Every holiday we wondered if he would be coherent enough to participate in opening Christmas presents or coherent enough to have Thanksgiving dinner with the family. Did we hide grandma's Christmas presents good enough that he didn't get them (because they had cash in them)?
The biggest way my brother's addiction affected my life is I had a lot of anger and resentment towards him and my mother. My mom could not see past my brother's addiction. It had consumed her life just as much as it had consumed his life. Even though my mom did not do the drug she was controlled by the drug because of my brother. He continued over and over again to treat her worse. He would yell and scream at her. Get in to extreme fights with her that was just unbearable. My brother had become the center of my mom's life and the more I tried to tell her she was enabling him and feeding his addiction the worse my relationship with my mom got. My mom and I had a wonderful relationship but as my brother's addiction worsened and my mother became more consumed with it, the more I resented both of them. Although he did not really steal monetary items from me because I did not allow the opportunity to come up I had to try to be the rock that supported my family. I had to support my sister, mom and dad. I had to try to be strong for my family when inside I was dealing with my own issues with my brother's addiction.
When my brother went to Rainbow Canyon Retreat I could not have been happier. We had heard wonderful success stories and hoped that my brother would get the help he had needed. He had tried 30 or 60 day rehabs before and they did not work. He needed a real rehab that would help him get through why he turned to drugs in the first place. We could finally sleep at night not worried if "IT" was going to happen. We knew he was safe and this was going to be the beginning of the rest of his life for him. While he was in the facility we heard good news over and over again. He was prospering there and doing wonderful in the program.
When he came home he was a completely changed person. He physically looked better in that he was no longer pale and skinny and had a great complexion. His outlook towards life and the way he treated people was like they had sent a different person back.
The person we had sent to Rainbow Canyon Retreat was gone. When my brother came back it was right before my wedding and I can't tell you how relieved I was that I was not going to have to worry if my brother was going to be coherent or cause a problem on my big day. Although I have my guard up a little still I couldn't be more proud of what he is doing and how he overcame his addiction. Now when someone asks how my brother is I happily tell them that he is doing wonderful and that he is a completely different person. I would recommend Rainbow Canyon Retreat to anyone who has a problem or has a loved one who has a problem. This facility did wonderful things for my brother and opened the world up to him. He has the chance to live a full wonderful life that is drug free.
Rainbow Canyon Retreat not only saved my brother's life but it saved our family. We are no longer consumed with my brother's addiction. My sister is a freshman in high school and is having a wonderful time. My parents can sleep at night and don't have to worry about him. They can keep their checks and valuables out without worry. I also have let go of my resentment. We only hear good things about him now and not all bad things.
J.C.
I would like to take this opportunity to thank you for giving me back my son, Spencer.
Through the years, I felt like the real Spencer had become hidden behind a smoke screen of heavy drinking and partying. I researched many of the programs before choosing FORT COLLINS NEW LIFE CENTER and I knew that this was the best one for my son since it used healthy resources and integrated life skills into the overall recovery process. By addressing the overall person and using healthy substitutes, a confidence is instilled that allows the graduate to control both actions and addictions throughout life.
The changes in Spence are amazing and it is as if he has a new lease on life and realizes that every moment is precious. Prior to the program, he seemed to be self-absorbed and not interested in his relationship with me or other family members. Now he has an open line of communication with me and others in the family and he regularly expresses thankfulness for the program and its collaborative nature.
Prior to the program, I worried constantly about what was going on with Spence since he was extremely secretive and self-absorbed. Before this program, Spence was sneaky and consistently made bad choices while misleading so many people in his life. Now he is forthright, a man of his word and is honest with himself and others. Prior to the program, Spence's priorities were conflicting in that his hard work would be compromised by his foolish behavior. Now his decisions are based on sound rationale that is of a continuous nature and good for both his health and spirit. He was in denial about the influence that alcohol had on every phase of his life and didn't want to discuss it. Now he has used the information and personal strength he has gained from this program as a tools in enhancing his life journey.
I feel a love connection with Spence now that it is all inclusive and a genuine family connection that is based on mutual respect and admiration. The changes in Spence are hard to put into words because it all sounds so trivial compared to all the warmth, and admirable qualities that are now a part of Spence's overall being!!
Thanks, to all of the dedicated staff at Fort Collins New Life Center.
Frances C.
Never in my wildest dreams did I think my son was a Heroin Addict. I can not say those words today without tears coming from my eyes. Newport by the Sea saved Blake's life. Our family life before Newport by the Sea was, to say the least, horrible.
Blake began using at age 17, from what he has told me. In retrospect, and as his mother, I believe I did not want to see what Blake's behavior meant and chalked it up to my recent divorce. I was glad that he had friends and hung out at the house often with his new friends, as Blake was a very shy young man. Then Blake fell in love, wow she was a beautiful young woman. Blake was self-involved, as he always is when he has a girlfriend. Listening to Blake on the other end of the phone that night was horrifying, "Mom, I use heroin and cut myself sometimes, I need help", this call was a demand from his girlfriend. I fled my home leaving Blake's stepfather and Blake's two brothers, not knowing what was wrong. On the way there, a 45 minute drive, I was blaming "Degrease", a TV program kids watch today where people use drugs and cut themselves, and I also blamed my divorce and eventually came to blame myself. Arriving at Blake's apartment I found an unshaven, dirty haired, dirty clot hed, and gaunt eyed young man. This was my Blake, my oldest child, my baby.
I demanded that he move in with me and clean himself up; for 6 months he drove to and from work with me. He was like a young child, he did exactly as I requested. Blake was ok, everyone knew what had happened, his girlfriend came to visit him and he carried on with life. Just as he began to do better, he felt he was ready for a move to another apartment. I felt good about it and had to let him fly, right? I had cured Blake- WOW what and amazing mother I am.
Blake continued to work for the family business. When he fell asleep in the loader, I chalked it up to working hard. When he kept going to the bathroom, I chalked it up to being sick. When he said he must be allergic to something because he was in the emergency room throwing up so often, I wondered, but the doctors never told me anything, of course that was because he was over 18.
A 3 day weekend and then it was Tuesday, Blake did not show up to work. Frantically, I began calling every -one I knew, he and his girlfriend had broken up, but I called her anyway. She had not heard from him. I drove directly to his apartment and took the key that I had snatched when he moved in, and opened the door. His old buddy since age 17 was there, sleeping on the floor totally drugged out. I asked him where Blake was and he told me to calm down and not to worry. After throwing a glass and hitting a wall in the apartment, he confessed that Blake was at the hospital. I drove there and saw his car but no information. Blake was over 18 and with all the laws, they could tell me nothing. I informed them that I was not leaving, as his car was outside and he had to be there. They finally got authorization from Blake to let me know what was going on. He had checked himself into the hospital and was transferred to the DETOX center.
I walked over to the Detox Center and I waited around until visiting hours; he was so sick, lying on the bed, his back to me rolled up in a ball, 175 LB 6'3" man, like a child! It broke my heart to see him so out of it and delirious. I went everyday to visit him, I wiped his face, rubbed his back and brushed his scraggly hair. I thought to myself, how did this happen, why would someone make the choice to use. Everyday my mom, my sisters and I searched on the web; we called friends and researched for the best place for Blake to go. We researched the 30 day programs, the wilderness programs, and Newport by the Sea, he needed help and we would do anything to help Blake live.
It was between Newport by the Sea and a wilderness program. We wanted him far away and away from any city, the potential influence and possible escape. Blake came home and we discussed his recovery plan. I attended NA with him, he was quiet, introduced himself as an addict; however, I overheard him telling one of the other guys there that he quit using and was clean, a lie.
I knew that we had major problems, he was an addict. He spoke to Dan, one of the Intake Counselors at Newport by the Sea, and Blake wanted to sign up and leave. I was skeptical but was told that it did not matter how we get him there, as long as we get him into recovery. He spoke to the wilderness program and did not want to go there. I told my mom about Newport by the Sea and she searched and researched for me.
July 4, 2007, our family trip to California, was to be the last family function Blake would attend being a heroin user. Grandma, papa, aunts, uncles, cousins, brothers, mother and stepfather all met. We had a great 4th of July with this looming visit, on July 5th, to meet Dan at Newport by the Sea. Blake did not like it, or the reality of spending the next 2-6 months there. The people were great and inviting. We were confident that we did not want a country club location for him to recover in. We signed Blake up and paid Newport by the Sea. We left him there, with great remorse and emotion that anything could happen and we are leaving him in California and going back to Arizona.
Newport by the Sea was his home for 3 months. One of the greatest benefits of this program is 30 days, 60 days, 90 days or more, whatever it takes to acquire the tools you need to stay clean, one price. The program makes sense, the cleansing of your body with sauna, the vitamins that you take, the exercise and the books that you have to get through to graduate. When I received the Federal Express package with notes in Blake's handwriting, of what he had done in his past and notes throughout his recovery, I was unable to put it down. I read the entire packet with great emotion.
Blake is now sixteen months clean, he works a fulltime job, and he possesses the tools to get through the break-up of his girlfriend. He is looking at purchasing a home and has recently planned for succession of the family business. Blake's family is so very proud of him; Newport by the Sea is like a gift that keeps giving. I recently told his soon to be wife that she is lucky to have a man that has the tools to deal with life and confront the things that make him happy or unhappy, in lieu of just existing through life.
Don't get me wrong, I look at Blake and wonder if he is lying to me, or if he is using me. I still do not leave my purse unattended and I wonder if he is really cured. I keep looking for the same characteristics that were there when he was using. I know he has served his time, but now I have to serve mine. The trust will take time. He gets angry with me when I don't trust him, but I remind him that it was he who broke that trust. I have told my children that I can deal with anything, I am strong, but I cannot deal with any of my boys being dead.
Please feel free to share this letter with anyone that you feel it may help. My heart goes out to those families that are living with an addict.
Free your mind and get some rest.
Send them to Newport by the Sea where someone else is taking care of them, watching after them, and seeing that they get through class, pass certain tests to get through the levels and learn to live clean. Remember, you will get calls to come home for Christmas or Thanksgiving, DO NOT LET THEM. They have to know what it is like not to have you there. Trust me they get over it. Thank you Blake for checking yourself into the hospital and thank you Newport by the Sea for being there and talking to Blake, getting him to want to go to Newport by the Sea.
Sincerely,
Deborah
To whom it may concern:
Our son, Tom, has turned into a mature, responsible, contributing member of society. We are very proud of him and what he is doing. It wasn't always this way.
The revelation that Tom was abusing drugs and, in fact, had become addicted, came late to us and only as a result of him being arrested. When we look back now we realize all the signs were there but we chose to either ignore them or excuse them as the product of an immature young adult. His pattern of an apparent lack of personal responsibility, defaulting on debts and repeatedly borrowing money from us, in retrospect, telegraphed that something was wrong, that we failed to recognize, and was his way of getting us to fund his addiction. We were both getting to the point that the amount of money Tom was asking for was becoming suspicious but we did not suspect drugs. Had Tom's older brother told us of a rumor going around that Tom was using maybe we would have put two and two together; maybe.
The year prior to his arrest he always needed money to pay for his car insurance or other bills which I now know was used to purchase illicit medications. Money that was provided for him to fix his car or pay traffic tickets, etc. never seemed to find its way to the need. Even the physical signs, bloodshot eyes, sleepless nights, fidgety behavior and excessive weight gain escaped our attention during the time but now, with a little knowledge, jump out as red flags to us.
When it became apparent that Tom needed both legal assistance as well as treatment for his addiction we did what we always did and jumped in to help. The difference this time however was insisting and ensuring that Tom was committed to success and was surrounded by a supportive organization that would do what we could not, and do it full time.
First a trip to detox which tore us up but started to offer a glimmer of hope when we met a former addict who would be working with Tom. Then, after much research we chose Rainbow Canyon Retreat as the organization that would provide the best chance for long-term success. Our research, our money, but more importantly Tom's personal commitment and the support structure found at Rainbow Canyon Retreat has resulted in Tom not only successfully beating his addiction but in elevating his personal growth and responsibility to a level we had not thought possible.
We are so proud of Tom today and what he has accomplished that we just need to share it with you. Tom is focusing his energy on staying clean, taking personal responsibility for his life and the decisions he makes, and becoming the good person he was always destined to be. Through the support and love that we are providing and the lessons he has learned from Rainbow Canyon Retreat we are confident that he will succeed.
Sincerely,
Tom Sr. and Ellen,
(Tom's Parents)
This letter is my attempt at describing what it was like to have my sister as a heroin addict before and then after Fort Collins New Life Center. Although she's been sober and healthy for five years now, and it's hard to think back, this is my attempt.
First of all, my family has always been extremely close. We don't go a day or two without talking to someone on the phone and we've always called it the "grapevine" because we'll talk to our mom or dad, sisters, nieces, and they call someone and pass the info on and so on and by the end of the day everyone knows all about what's going on. We spent many years talking about our sister, who was using heroin & who knows what else. We'd watch her totally strung out, trying to sleep it off, wanting to quit, yet not being able. We watched her try to hold a great job, try to be "normal", we talked about intervention, checked out local AZ rehab options, talked about tough love and pushing her out, yet the love and hope that she would quit, plus not knowing really what to do, kept us on the emotional roller coaster. She was what I called a "functional addict." She held a job, came to family functions, and yet no one trusted her. I couldn't even trust her to leave her with my infant twi n boys. How sad is that? A sister that used to be my rock, I couldn't stand to be around. She made me sick, sad and angry. When I needed her, she was gone, maybe not physically, but she was not my sister anymore, as drugs, lying and manipulating were her best friend, and only focus.
With that being said, my sister just disappeared one day. No calls, no signs, no reason. We "lost" her for 4 years. We did not know if she was dead, alive, in trouble, on the street or what. Our family pooled our money to hire Private Investigators to find her, no luck. We drove to La Jolla & San Diego many times to search ourselves, no luck. We made & distributed fliers. I spent hours online searching Missing Persons databases, unknown dead people databases, called area hospitals for unknown patients, and calling local law enforcement agencies, no luck. I will never forget the sickness in my stomach as I looked at unknown dead people online, called and hoped. Hoping for answers, but hoping I wouldn't find the bad answer.
Finally, after 4 years, we got a call that she was arrested for drugs and it was the happiest moment of our lives. Prior to her trial, we researched and called many, many rehab facilities, but we kept going back to Fort Collins New Life Center. There are so many facilities; so many that say they are the best, they work, etc. We finally chose Fort Collins New Life Center, due to their philosophies, staff, and track record of success. We liked that a student doesn't just complete the program and they say, "Your clean, good luck, see ya". Fort Collins New Life Center offered the steps beyond that; the former addict can stay and work there, they can come back for more help, etc. Fort Collins New Life Center offered a different way of dealing with an addiction. They don't just use the standard 12 step procedure that so many do. They tackle the deep down reasons; they get to the heart of the person and all through proven methods. We pooled our money again, and as part of her releas e agreement, my sister was sent directly to the Fort Collins New Life Center program.
The rest is beautiful history. It has been five years now, she is not only healthy, beautiful, and my sister again, she is more than that. She recently married a fantastic man, and they are both such positive and energetic forces for us. I turn to her for her strength, support, and advice again. She is the big sister I've longed for so many years. Her attitude and energy is contagious. She is my rock. She is the family rock.
Fort Collins New Life Center worked for my sister. It worked for our entire family. We are whole again and the grapevine is back in full force.
Lisa W.
March 20, 2001, is a date that will forever live in our memories and changed all three of our lives for the better. As retired law enforcement officers, we saw our only 20 year old daughter gradually descending into a physical and psychological state where we truly feared for her life. As her physical health deteriorated, we saw the signs of withdrawal, denial and alienation. Having loving parents and constant encouragement were just not enough to keep the addiction from taking full control of her life and making us frantic with the knowledge that this might end horribly.
We knew that we had to get her away from her local environment because the temptations were just too strong with bad friends and ready availability of illegal drugs. Even what we thought was tough love was not enough to keep her from her downhill slide.
Internet research revealed a number of in-house rehabilitation organizations; but, only Newport by the Sea had an intake phone staff that worked tirelessly with us and made us see that we needed even tougher love or a very tragic end was on the horizon. As she was out of school, without a job, had maxed out her credit card, and was without transportation or money; our daughter was finally willing to admit that she had a serious problem and asked us to help her.
March 20, 2001, was the day we drove over 500 miles to the Newport by the Sea facility and dropped our daughter off with hope and a prayer that if she was ready and willing to clean herself up, she might make it. The Intake Counselor at Newport by the Sea met with us and was extremely comforting and knowledgeable about what would be forthcoming.
Several months later, she graduated and came home with intentions of attending college. Relapse is always a concern with recovered addicts and our daughter was no exception. After several months at home, prior to restarting college, she became very afraid and continued to have cravings that became constant and almost unbearable. Though she did not actually relapse, she did ask and was granted a return to the Newport by the Sea facility for several months to work there. More importantly, she wanted to be around a supportive and understanding environment to fully cement the teachings and training that she had received during her initial stay. (I might note that there was no additional charge for this return!!)
When she returned home the second time, things went much better. She completed her college degree. She met and eventually married a promising young man who has been very supportive and who had full knowledge of her past addiction.
We believe that she has conquered her addiction. With Newport by the Sea's critical intervention, help and support, she has become a fully functioning and productive member of society. As parents of an only child, we have our daughter back. Her marriage and ultimately the birth of our six month old grandson would have been very unlikely to have happened without Newport by the Sea's help. In the end every person has to want to become clean and stay clean. Newport by the Sea gave our daughter the tools to make it happen in an environment that was safe, controlled and instructive. Newport by the Sea was and is truly a success story for our family. In fact, we celebrate every March 20th as a family birthday; because that is when a new life started for all of us.
Jim O.
I am writing this letter for all who are in need of getting help for a loved one.
What I am going to tell you about is my daughter Michelle; hopefully our story will help others in need.
When I discovered my child was into drugs, I didn't want to believe that she hadn't learned or listened to anything I was telling her. I tried to tell her how much damage drugs could do, not only to the mind but body too. I could tell by looking at her she didn't believe me. She was always saying that I didn't understand her and that I never did anything for her. I couldn't believe a child of mine would do this to herself and her family.
She would say things like, "I am not hurting you-these are my friends", then in the next breath say, "I will be ok and I love you." I felt so helpless, scared not only for her but myself and the rest of the family. What could I do???
I called and talked to several people; doctors, law enforcement, friends & family. My husband and I couldn't believe what they told us. Most said there really was not much I could do, except be there for her when she falls and hits rock bottom, or till she wants help.
After she graduated from college, things only got worse. She went out, when most people were going to bed. She would say, "Mom I will be back in a little while." As I waited for her to come home, I would walk around the house praying she would come back, I did a lot of crying but most of the time she never even came home till I went to work. She worked with us in our family business but it got so bad we couldn't have her in the office even if she did show up. I couldn't trust her anymore with doing any kind of office work, most of the time she only played on the Internet or listened to music. I would get after her for not doing her job and she would give very belligerent excuses. I noticed not only money missing but tools were gone. That is when I had to tell her she couldn't work here anymore, but she had already decided to leave. After she left we learned she was living with another loser who dealt in drugs. This guy was known for using young women to his advantage, telling them things they wanted to hear. He talked her into buying a used car for his use and opening credit cards, which eventually were maxed out.
Our opinions of her friends meant nothing to her. I was always in the wrong no matter what I did, except when I gave her money. Which I know now was the worst thing I could do for her, because I am sure she didn't use it for food or bills.
Then the phone calls began, she would say, "Mom I love you" and then tell me how horrible things were for her. I would tell her to come home, that she didn't have to live that way. After she was home for awhile she would leave again saying "Things will be better now, I'll get a job". Only things got worse, always an excuse. I got so I hated to answer the phone. I didn't want to hear all her complaints about her situation, since she wouldn't believe us when we said we would help her but she would have to give up the kind of life she was leading.
I got so I just hated to answer the telephone because I knew that one day someone would call saying she was in jail or someone had killed her. Even writing this now I get teary eyed remembering how bad it really was.
Finally, Michelle's pickup broke down so she had it towed to a local shop, where the owners who knew her told her to go home. In fact they begged her to go home or at least call. I was out of town but she called me on my cell phone and I told her to go talk to her Dad and wait for me at home. The only way her Dad would let her come home was she had to take a drug test and let us get her some help. He wanted the drug test done, so we could see what we were up against, because we couldn't continue to live with the lies, stealing, heartache, and the sleeplessness and fear for her and for us as well.
The test showed she was using Meth! I can't begin to tell you how devastated we were. At first we cried, and then we all sat down and talked. We told her what we would do to help but she couldn't leave the house unless one of us was with her; she had to give up her friends, get rid of all her body piercing and her cell phone. We told her we would pay her bills and we would also find her car (which she didn't know where it was). But to help with cost, we would be selling her car as well as her pickup; this didn't go over well at all.
We got on the Internet and found several rehab centers. We got the numbers and started calling and asking questions. It took us almost a month to decide where she could go get the best help for her. Sunshine Summit Lodge kept coming up as the best place for our daughter.
It was all arranged, I think Michelle would have left if she could, as she was afraid and scared but she was never out of our sight till she got on the airplane. We liked the idea that it would take longer than a month to help her and she would be away from all the drug influences.
Everything we learned about Sunshine Summit Lodge was a plus, we knew this was the right place for her. Sunshine Summit Lodge would teach her to like herself; to be happy and healthy. They would help her find the root of her problems and help her understand herself.
I was relieved when her father put her on that plane because not only was she going to get the help she needed but I knew she would be safe and out of reach from her so called friends and she couldn't get any drugs. We found her car; it had been left on the roadside and impounded. We paid the fines and put it up for sale at a local used car dealership, after paying off the bank note. I continued to pay her bills and got rid of all her credit cards except one. The expense was worse than we ever imagined.
During the four months Michelle was a student in the program there were more calls. At first she couldn't call us and I must say I was relieved that I didn't have to talk to her. When we finally could talk to her, everything wasn't great. Michelle would cry and beg to come home, she was very angry with us for sending her away and getting rid of her vehicles. She would say she was leaving the program, as soon as we hung up the phone, we would call and talk to her counselors. This was a very emotional time for her as well as us. Because I loved Michelle I had to tell her she couldn't quit and come home as long as the drugs controlled her mind and body.
Michelle asked for forgiveness for what she has put her father and I through and has told us how sorry she is for hurting the ones she loves the best.
I do forgive her because she is my daughter and I love her with all my heart and soul.
It has been three plus years since we sent her to Sunshine Summit Lodge rehab center and we have never regretted that decision. Michelle is a healthy and stronger individual, who now has her life back on track. Thanks to the program and the professional staff who are dedicated to their jobs.
I still have moments when I feel sad and scared for her, I can't seem to help myself. Michelle has a healthy body and mind. She is happy with who she is. She is productive in what she has accomplished. She now has set goals and I know she will reach them.
I have and will continue to recommend the Sunshine Summit Lodge program to anyone who asks me for my opinion of the best rehab center.
Sincerely,
Mrs. R.
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